After 5 years of being together, my boyfriend Alex and I broke up recently. We divided up our stuff and shipped it out so I could live in Washington with my parents while he stays in California.
He first brought it up on Monday when I had gotten back from visiting my parents for a week. Since we lived together and it took some time to pack up my things, we had a lot of time to talk about everything. Thanks to that we ended it on pretty good terms. Far better than I would have expected. So for now, I am a Washington blogger! Damn, I may not be an expat, but I sure do move a lot, don't I?
You may be wanting to ask me how I've stayed so calm during this whole thing. (Because the truth is I have... except for the first 3 days and even then I didn't break anything or commit murder, so I think it went ok.) Well, the way I see it, you make a conscious decision to either stay mad or keep moving forward and forgive. I made the decision to be happy and calm during everything and it paid off (Even after a couple of melt-downs). When he drove me up to Oregon to meet my mom halfway with some of my stuff, it was actually one of the best road trips we've had together. (And we've had a LOT!) It's something I won't regret in the long run. I mean, it sucks and my heart is still broken right now, but I'll get through this.
I guess another thing that got me through this breakup is the fact that I had just read a book about breakups the week before. John Green is one of my favorite authors and vloggers and he wrote the book "An Abundance of Katherines" in which the main character has been dumped 19 times by 18 Katherines and has to deal with the last and most painful breakup while having adventures with his best friend. I don't think I would have done so well without reading this book, because every other time I've broken up with someone it has always felt like there's nothing after the breakup. That there will only ever be pain and suffering. This book helped me realize that there is so much more to experience after a breakup, and that it is not the end of the world. Even the end of a relationship that meant so much to me for so long didn't seem as bad after that.
Coincidentally, at the same time I was reading AAOK, Alex was reading "The Fault in Our Stars" also by John Green. It's one of my favorite books and is about a girl named Hazel who is dealing with Cancer and it is full of feels. (Filming for the movie just recently started and I am really excited!) So being the book that it is, (and if you haven't read it, I suggest you do) it made him think about a lot of things and question where we were going in life. Even though it led him down the path that eventually led us to breaking up, I can never blame the story because it affects others differently when they read it.
So we talked, a lot, and after our talks, it became pretty obvious to me that this change would be good for both of us. (Despite losing part of my heart. Is that too dramatic? lol) I've already started planning lots of new things for me to do that for some reason I never had the motivation to accomplish while living with Alex.
My goals for life thus far will be:
- Getting a job
- Going back to school and finding a good career path
- Start running again, and I have a new challenge and purpose for it thanks to the two Kenzies at Chasing Happy, and Life According to Kenz using #runningforsupernannykenz on Twitter and Instagram
- Blog with a purpose. Plan and make it happen. I have been such a bad blogger, and I know it!
- Have fun and enjoy life as much as possible
- Get friends back into my life
If I could dish out any advice at this point it would be that relationships take work. Never assume that things are okay all the time and make sure that the needs of both of you are being met. This is also true for friendships, although the best of friends will be there for you no matter what even after a lengthy absence from eachother's lives. I am so very grateful that my friends and family have been there for me during this tough time. I am so blessed to have them in my life.