25 things I've learned before 25

It's weird being a quarter of a century old! The great thing about being in my early 20's was all the experiences I've had so far. Granted, I haven't really had that many, but I've had enough to learn a thing or two. This post is to impart some of that wisdom on all the other 20-somethings of the internet. So here's a list of things I've learned (and wish I knew earlier!) before I turned 25.

1. Stop drinking soda! Drink as much water as possible all the time. Not only did I feel so much prettier and lighter than I did while drinking soda, but I was happier too. My complexion improved, my attitude improved, and I lost weight! Water is amazing.
2. Cooking at home isn't actually that hard. It takes some practice to get the hang of it, and a couple of burnt dishes before you improve, but you'll get there eventually! Four years ago I had never cooked anything on the stove except for ramen. Now I feel like if I put my mind to it, I could cook anything I like! Just read all the instructions completely first, and then try it! You might be surprised of what you can accomplish. I even wrote my own recipe!
3. Slowly cut out fast food from your diet. Maybe limit yourself to a certain amount of trips a week. Your wallet and your body will thank you. Believe me, your metabolism won't keep up with you forever. Everything bad for you is okay, but only in moderation. Also, you need to start eating more green things. We're not talking jelly beans here either. I mean broccoli, spinach, kale, asparagus, lettuce, etc. You might be surprised at what your body starts to like once you get closer to your mid-20's. I used to hate broccoli, now I eat it several times a week!
4. Clean up after yourself. Whether you live in a dorm/barracks, an apartment, a house, or even with your parents you will learn very quickly that there won't always be someone there to pick up after you, and no one actually wants to. Take a little time each day to put away clothes or pick up trash and do dishes. (Side-note: do dishes every day, or every-other day. It will save you time and grief.) Just simply make an effort. Your friends, your dates/partner, and your health will thank you. If your surroundings are clean, you'll feel a lot better about yourself and your life and will have fewer things to worry about. I learned this the hard way when I lived in NC. Roaches like your leftovers. Gross! Also, I developed an allergy to mold because of my poor cleaning habits and the house I was living in.
5. Take classes that matter, but also take some classes for fun. My first year of college I took a "Rock History" course. It was by far the easiest class I had ever taken in college and it really helped me balance out my first term and get used to college life. I'd also suggest taking yoga to give yourself some time to relax during the day. Plus you're improving your body as well as your mind! Win/win!
6. Read. Just read all the books. I would personally suggest anything by Jane Austen or John Green. Don't forget that libraries can be your best friend! That reminds me, I need to get a library card one of these days.
7. Learn all the adult things they neglected to teach you in high school as soon as possible. Taxes, balancing checkbooks (which I still never do, by the way), budgeting, taking care of your vehicle, rent, computer care, sex ed (if your school and parents sucked), etc.I know they aren't fun, but they're necessary and important. I'm lucky that my dad helps me with most of these things, but I know someday I'll need to do all these on my own.
8. Dating sucks. Online dating sucks. Boys suck. You thought they sucked in high school? Wait till they're able to get drunk publicly. Also there's a certain group of boys that will pretend they like you simply to get some. It's awful. I wrote a whole post about stupid things guys do on dating sites on my Tumblr. Welcome to the wide world of dating, where everything sucks and the points don't matter.
9. Learn some self-defense tactics and carry pepper spray or a knife. Always be aware of your surroundings and protect yourself. I like the idea of being a self-rescuing princess. I've never been personally assaulted, but I've had friends that have been. I'm not saying that they weren't prepared because there are some situations you simply can't prepare for. But our society has a bias towards men that allows "boys to be boys" and they teach defense to women instead of teaching boys not to hurt them. So be careful out there!
10. Relationships and friendships take work. You have to be a friend to keep friends. Relationships are two-way streets. (How many other cliches can I use? Do you get it yet? lol.) Some friends are awesome and will stay friends with you even if you don't talk to them much, but others need more attention to keep them in your life. I wrote a post about that too.
11. Talk out your problems. If someone hurts your feelings don't let it stew, tell them how you feel! (But without blaming them. Use I-messages.) Making compromises and understanding how others feel is how you make relationships last. Most problems come from miscommunication. It's a waste of time to stew over something stupid if you can clear it up by talking. If you're in college I recommend taking a psychology or a sociology course at least once. Both give you better ideas of how to handle situations.
12. Have at least one job where you work for minimum wage in retail or the food industry. You will learn to respect the people who work at your favorite stores and restaurants a lot more, and you will also learn to hate people just a little more than you did before. It's important. Working at a craft store made me realize how lazy people can be. Now I regularly spot things out of place, especially at the grocery store. One thing I'd like to tell you from my experience is that cashiers and sales associates prefer that you bring items you don't want up to the register. Especially cold items. Come on people!
13. Be as open-minded as you possibly can. The world is a huge place filled with billions of people. You're not the only one with opinions and you won't always be right. Hear things from another person's point of view for a change so you can be more flexible. It will make you a better, well-rounded person.
14. People will like what they like. You have your own preferences, right? Well so does everybody else. Generalizations about what girls or guys like is just a waste of time. Some guys like things, some guys don't. Some girls like things, some girls don't. It's as simple as that. All that matters is if you like something someone who likes the same things as you will come along eventually. 
15. Don't change who you are to be with another person. Don't ever allow someone to make you change and don't expect others to change. Additionally, don't give up your dreams for anyone. This is your life and you should live it however you want while keeping the future in mind. It took me a five year failed relationship to realize that I practically gave up my future for another person. He didn't want me to, and I didn't either, but I wanted adventure and I thought I loved him. Which leads me to my next point.
16. You don't have to stay with a person if they're doing things you don't like or appreciate. If you're being treated badly, you don't have to stay with someone regardless of if you "love them." love won't change a bad relationship. You have to work and make things better. If your partner isn't willing to change, find someone who will. This also applies to friendships. You don't have to settle. You'll regret it later. If you plan on cutting someone out of your life, it's best to just do it as soon as possible. Out of sight, out of mind most of the time. Hey, it worked for me... twice!
17. High school never ends. (Hey, there's a song about that already!) But whether you're 20 or 50 people will still act like they're in high school no matter where you work or go to school. You just have to learn to deal with it. 
18. Keep your frivolous drama off of facebook/social media. Everyone is judging you and you're making a fool of yourself. Find another way to vent like a friend to talk to or a journal. Some things just need to stay private. Also, these days companies and colleges have more access to your accounts than you realize. There's always the chance you could get fired for what you say online.
19. Developing your own style can take years of work if you haven't got it down already. Also, you don't have to spend a lot of money to look great. Sales, thrift stores, Plato's closet, and consignment stores all have potential for giving you great items for a great deal. You'll get there eventually. Maybe watch some What Not To Wear to make sure you're on the right track! It might also be a good time to get rid of all the clothes you've saved from high school or middle school. My confession, I had a pair of workout pants from 9th grade! That was 10 years ago for me. Get rid of that stuff!
20. Make mistakes and learn from them. As long as they aren't really stupid mistakes that can potentially screw up your life like drunk driving. I'm just saying, don't be afraid of messing up. Everyone does it and it's a good experience. Just don't let the sense of failure fester too long. Kick yourself a little for whatever it is and move on. You're a better, stronger person now!
21. Respect yourself and everyone else. You are not the center of the universe and probably won't be the most important person in the world, but you are important. You just aren't any better than anyone else. They may rank higher at a job than you, but they aren't any better and you aren't any worse than they are. Don't ever think you're worthless because you're not.
22. Love yourself and your body. I'm planning on writing a more in-depth post about this later. It took me years to get to the point where I accepted what I see in the mirror and just do whatever I can to make myself look the way I want to feel. Your body doesn't deserve to be treated badly. If you love it and take care of it, it will love you back. If you really don't like what you see, then work on changing, and don't give up!
23. Do something a little outrageous before starting your career. I wish in college I had dyed my hair blue or gotten a crazy piercing or something. Something I would be able to recover from easily, and not something permanent that I would regret later. Instead I stayed plain and have always regretted it. I envy people who are able to express themselves that way.
24. Start cutting out your bad habits now or as soon as you can feel motivated enough. In 2011 I stopped biting my nails for a while, and it actually worked somewhat, but I ended up going back to my old ways. Here I am again growing them out and it's going well so far! Identify the things that are holding you back, figure out a way to solve that problem and cut them out of your life!  
25. Life is short, have fun once in a while! Let loose and enjoy yourself! I was so deprived of friendship and fun for the past few years that I've spent the last few months between here and Tacoma visiting my besties regularly. It was a necessary part of the healing process, believe me, lol. 

Now it's time for me to really focus on what I want to do with my life. I'm still confused but I at least have a general idea of where I want it to go. I just don't know how to get there from here.

In other news, my birthday was pretty fun! Last week a couple friends and I had dinner (free burger at Red Robin, wooh!) and then we went out dancing. (After I sat in traffic for 3 hours...) By the way, a crown is the perfect accessory for anyone celebrating who wants to get a ton of attention from drunk strangers! I got a bunch of hugs and high-5's. It was great.

Happy Birthday to me!

Then I finally had cake on Saturday with my parents and took a few pictures. I usually get ice cream cakes, but this year none of them fit my fancy, so I made up for it by wearing ice cream on my shirt instead! (Shirt from WalMart, surprisingly!)

 Oh! And before I forget,

happy 3rd birthday to my blog too!

 It's been a fun on-and-off adventure! :)

So, what things have you learned from being in your 20's? 30's? I'd love to hear advice from anyone in the 25-30 range so I know what to look forward to in the next 5 years!

April Sprinkles: Return of the Blog!

Here we go, blog reboot #3!

A lot has happened since the last time you heard from me. I'm not even sure where to start. If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, you'd know most of these things already, but in case you don't here's the gist:

Let's see, I made some new friends, I got contacts, I bought a lot of pretty dresses, went dancing, Started an Etsy, talked to strangers on the internet (aka online dating), had my wisdom teeth removed, won a TARDIS, started two tumblrs (Pretty geeky and StarstuffDreams), read several books, watched a TON of netflix, knitted 3 Jayne Cobb hats (among other things), sang karaoke, ate a lot of chocolate, and made countless trips between here and Tacoma to see my friends.

I've decided to come back because it's almost April again and I think a lot about my blog around that time. Plus I've been working on several projects lately and have felt like sharing. I still may not be the perfect blogger I want to be, but I'm planning on working on it. I've also been working on cutting down my blogger blogs that I'm following so that I can focus on the ones I really like to read.

So stick around! There are fun things ahead!

5 Things People Who Have Broken Up Recently Are Tired Of Hearing

Life sucks after a breakup. That's true, unless you hated the other person. In which case, you're as happy as a clam! But for those like me who were in love for 5 years, it's a tough thing to get over.

Through my experience of breaking up, I've realized that there are a few things that you just simply shouldn't say to someone who has just broken up. These are a few of those things:

1.) "Just forget about him/her"

Seriously, that's impossible. If anything, you remember more, and it sucks. We just want you to know that "forgetting someone" isn't as simple as it sounds. Maybe you should try it sometime and see for yourself. So far this is the worst thing I've been told to do. Please stop saying it.

2.) "I'm always here if you need to talk" when you're not

Whether you're a person who doesn't fully understand the situation, or doesn't really care, suggesting someone talk to you when you're only trying to be nice isn't nice at all in the long-run. So far I've seen it go two ways. Either you're too busy to actually listen to your friend and give them the care and comfort they need at this time, or you think your own problems are more important.

To the first one, either make time for your friend or say you're sorry and that you're not the person to talk to at this time. Move on without offering up your shoulder to cry on. I'm sure they'll understand and find someone else.

To the second one, guess what? People who have just broken up don't want to hear your problems! They have enough of their own right now. If your way of comforting a friend in pain is to hear their problem and then respond with how you "understand" and mention something that you think is about 10x worse going on in your own life, you really just shouldn't be talking to this person at all. Go find someone else to talk to! People who have broken up want to talk about their own situation. When they're done then they probably will have plenty of time to listen to your problems, because you were so generous to listen to them. You have to remember that friendships are give and take. You shouldn't be making your friend feel worse at the moment by making his or her problems seem like they aren't as important as yours. Get over yourself!

3.) "I'm sorry" or "Boys suck" 

I don't think you can even imagine how many times I've heard this over the past month. I get it, you don't know what to say. That's alright, but you could at least try and say something... different. Honestly, I've been guilty of it too. It's hard to know what to say sometimes. You blank out, your heart's not in the conversation, etc. But this here just makes you look like a lazy friend. It's almost as bad as "forget about him" but only because it means you don't know what to say and insinuates that you want your friend to shut up because they're making you uncomfortable. (That's how I feel anyway.)

4.) "There are plenty more fish in the sea" or "you'll find someone else!" 

Well I don't know about other girls, but I was pretty excited to start dating/flirting again, yet in the back of my head I still felt connected to my ex. It made me really sad whenever anyone said this to me too. When you break up, unless you hated your ex, you really don't want to think about anyone else. Unless they did something horrible other than just breaking your heart, you still love that jerk and can't even imagine thinking of anyone else taking their place.

So, you really shouldn't say this in first few months following a breakup. Unless the person is talking about meeting someone else, don't even think about bringing it up. More than likely it will remind that person of how much they loved their ex and all the good that was in the relationship. "Rosy retrospection" if you will. So really, you're doing them a horrible disservice by saying this to them so soon after a breakup. They're just going to keep thinking about the person who still holds their heart. And they will fight you tooth and nail trying to make you understand why.

5.) "I think you need to...." AKA any advice not asked for or warranted 

It seems like any time someone breaks up, suddenly everyone is an expert on your relationship.
STOP IT! You don't know anything.
The only people who can truly understand the relationship were the two who were in it. (And even then, they might still never know what's going on all the time.) But seriously, they're the only two who come close.

When Alex and I first broke up, or started talking about it, I got to a point where I was really pumped about finding myself again and getting back on my feet. So at first when people would tell me that I should "focus on yourself" I was open to it and hearing it made me feel good. However, after a while it seemed to get repetitive and annoying. Finding yourself and doing what makes you happy takes time, so barking orders at me to do things for myself is one of those things that just isn't going to happen overnight. Unless, you're some kind of breakup superstar, then all power to you! I'm not one of those people. Breaking up is a process that you deal with. You get by, you make do, and you Keep Moving Forward.

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This little list was brought about by frustration in my own life, obviously. I'm not blaming any of my friends for saying the wrong thing when they didn't know it was wrong or didn't know what else to say. I understand that you mean well, but just wanted you to know that sometimes what you say I really am just sick of hearing or don't want to hear at all. I've been in your place before, and I know that it's a tough place to be in. I've made most of these mistakes myself, and I feel so sorry for ever saying some of these things to my friends because I know how much it hurts after a while. You never know what that other person wouldn't want to hear until you're actually in their situation. And even then, everyone is different. I guess it is sort of passive-aggressive that I wrote this instead of actually telling any of my friends who have said any of the above to me, so sorry about that. I didn't mean to insult you in any way, I guess I just wanted you to understand how it feels. 

I really do want to thank all of my friends and family (especially my mom! Love you mom!) who have been supporting me through this tough time.  But more often than not, you listening and helping me get through this has been a huge blessing and I want you all to know that I appreciate it. ♥

To all of those reading, give your friend a break! Try to be a little more understanding, and it will pay of for both of you.

Not so suddenly single

This is the post I've had the hardest time writing, and also the post I never expected to have to write.

After 5 years of being together, my boyfriend Alex and I broke up recently. We divided up our stuff and shipped it out so I could live in Washington with my parents while he stays in California.

He first brought it up on Monday when I had gotten back from visiting my parents for a week. Since we lived together and it took some time to pack up my things, we had a lot of time to talk about everything. Thanks to that we ended it on pretty good terms. Far better than I would have expected. So for now, I am a Washington blogger! Damn, I may not be an expat, but I sure do move a lot, don't I?

You may be wanting to ask me how I've stayed so calm during this whole thing. (Because the truth is I have... except for the first 3 days and even then I didn't break anything or commit murder, so I think it went ok.) Well, the way I see it, you make a conscious decision to either stay mad or keep moving forward and forgive. I made the decision to be happy and calm during everything and it paid off (Even after a couple of melt-downs). When he drove me up to Oregon to meet my mom halfway with some of my stuff, it was actually one of the best road trips we've had together. (And we've had a LOT!) It's something I won't regret in the long run. I mean, it sucks and my heart is still broken right now, but I'll get through this.

I guess another thing that got me through this breakup is the fact that I had just read a book about breakups the week before. John Green is one of my favorite authors and vloggers and he wrote the book "An Abundance of Katherines" in which the main character has been dumped 19 times by 18 Katherines and has to deal with the last and most painful breakup while having adventures with his best friend. I don't think I would have done so well without reading this book, because every other time I've broken up with someone it has always felt like there's nothing after the breakup. That there will only ever be pain and suffering. This book helped me realize that there is so much more to experience after a breakup, and that it is not the end of the world. Even the end of a relationship that meant so much to me for so long didn't seem as bad after that. 

Coincidentally, at the same time I was reading AAOK, Alex was reading "The Fault in Our Stars" also by John Green. It's one of my favorite books and is about a girl named Hazel who is dealing with Cancer and it is full of feels. (Filming for the movie just recently started and I am really excited!) So being the book that it is, (and if you haven't read it, I suggest you do) it made him think about a lot of things and question where we were going in life. Even though it led him down the path that eventually led us to breaking up, I can never blame the story because it affects others differently when they read it.

So we talked, a lot, and after our talks, it became pretty obvious to me that this change would be good for both of us. (Despite losing part of my heart. Is that too dramatic? lol) I've already started planning lots of new things for me to do that for some reason I never had the motivation to accomplish while living with Alex. 

My goals for life thus far will be:

• Getting a job
• Going back to school and finding a good career path
• Start running again, and I have a new challenge and purpose for it thanks to the two Kenzies at Chasing Happy, and Life According to Kenz using #runningforsupernannykenz on Twitter and Instagram
• Blog with a purpose. Plan and make it happen. I have been such a bad blogger, and I know it!
• Have fun and enjoy life as much as possible 
• Get friends back into my life

So that's pretty much it! I'm excited for new adventures and getting my life in order instead of it standing still like it has been, but I'm still sad that the love had to end in order for it to happen.

If I could dish out any advice at this point it would be that relationships take work. Never assume that things are okay all the time and make sure that the needs of both of you are being met. This is also true for friendships, although the best of friends will be there for you no matter what even after a lengthy absence from eachother's lives. I am so very grateful that my friends and family have been there for me during this tough time. I am so blessed to have them in my life.

On my mind

Lets talk about this quote for a minute:

"If someone wants to be a part of your life they'll make an effort to be in it. So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay"

I've had a lot of issues with this lately. Feeling this way, questioning my feelings, questioning my friends, etc. But I want us all to think about this quote (and others like it) before we start using them and holding grudges like I have.

Here are my thoughts: If you're feeling this way isn't it possible that your friend (ex-friend, lover, whoever) could be feeling the same way too? That is assuming that you've just left it up to the other person to make all the friendly effort. If that's the case, then it's quite possible that the other person has the same feelings and is holding this same grudge against you thinking that you're not trying hard enough to be a friend so why even bother? But why cut them out prematurely if you don't even know what's going on?

Since I've been back home with my parents, and in a town filled with all my school friends, I've been very shy and reserved around friends. This is especially because they have jobs and I don't, and I figured that if/when they have free time they will contact me. But you see, the thing with being busy is that you forget a lot of things (friends included) and the ones that aren't "in your face" to hang out get pushed to the back-burner. But then again, there are friends who, even though they are extremely busy, will try their hardest to hang out with you. I feel like I've been pushed to the back, but then again, I'm not doing my best to put myself out there. There are two sides to every story.

I guess what I'm trying to have you get from this is that if you're making an effort and the other person isn't reciprocating, that's probably a good sign you should let them go. But if neither one of you are making an effort, and you still want to be friends, maybe you should be the one to step up and talk to them instead of continuing to let your anger and resentment build. Then if they don't reciprocate, feel free to hate and resent them all you like, lol.

Recycling and recrafting: Pros and Cons

I think most of us can agree that the idea of recycling and reusing things is a good one, right? Cutting down garbage and pollutants for future generations, I certainly do. My parents and I go out of our way to recycle anything and everything we possibly can (except composting). I believe in it, and there are plenty of reused plastic containers around my room to prove it! lol.

But here's the problem I have with "re-using and re-crafting":
I find that the majority of people who care about the planet enough to re-use or re-craft would probably recycle as well. I think that some people who re-craft turn something that could have been recyclable in the first place into an item that someone else would just throw away. It's done wrong, it looks bad, it's crap, basically. Most people aren't excited about something re-used or re-created and aren't thrilled by it if it doesn't look great. The truth is that the majority of people on this planet do not recycle. Also the majority of educated people who choose not to probably would have re-using and re-crafting as far from their heads as recycling is.

Now that I've said that, let me tell you why I fully believe in recycling and re-crafting:
When it's done in good taste, it can be a huge benefit to waste-reduction as well as creating something new and useable. It's very unfortunate that most people can't see the good in recycling or re-crafting. We just continue to buy, buy, buy! There are plenty of things in this world that could function just as well refurbished as you can buy new in a store. Things that can have uses beyond the average person's imagination. It's also unfortunate that the general census, and also my boyfriend's feelings on the subject, of recycling seems to be that it doesn't really do much in the long-run. Well of course it doesn't! If only a small majority of the population is recycling and re-using it's not going to change anything (Ok, it changes a little, but not much!). But if a larger percentage of people did so, I really think it would make a huge impact on our world. However, that stigma of "it's a great idea, but it doesn't really make a difference" is preventing people from recycling and possibly making the world a better place (again, in my opinion).

Then there are the other people who think that trash is trash. Anything broken can't be fixed and should be thrown away. That a skateboard could never have another life as anything more than a skateboard. And those people probably wouldn't even be phased if someone showed them a raincoat made out of an old shower-curtain, or a shelf made out of said skateboard. They would think the finished product was pretty cool, but once they found out what it was made from, they still won't change their minds. 

Honestly, I don't care if you feel that it's all just garbage to you. I'm not going to be that person who tells you, "it's not all garbage! Respect your mother Earth! You should be ashamed of yourself." Recycling is a hassle, I won't deny it. It takes time out of your day to clean off that plastic or metal before you sort it into a special bin, then you have to take it to a special recycling center (if there even is one), and in the end there's not really any compensation except that you kept of handful of plastic containers out of the landfill. Sometimes I wonder if it does actually get recycled or if it just gets thrown away with the garbage. And then what happens to it afterwards? Don't even get me started on sifting through garbage to find treasures, or the amount of product that Goodwill throws away daily. Let's just say, it's ridiculous and time-consuming.

But I digress... My point is that there are some things that could be re-used for good, and should! I wish there were more re-crafters in this world. I wish people would buy more handmade awesomeness instead of buying crap from Wal*Mart. But handmade isn't cheap, and mass-produced "handmade" is B.S.

Okay, not sure if I was on a soapbox here, but I'll certainly get off it if I was, lol.

Which side are you on? 

What do you think about all of this? ♥